April Fools’ Day 2015: The best (and worst) jokes from BMW, Sun Life, Confused.com, Richard Branson and the London Eye
Alright, so this year the various political weirdnesses (Joey Essex interviewing Nick Clegg, anyone?) have caused an air of ridiculousness to hang over Westminster for several weeks now – but outside the London bubble, the once-a-year gag fest that is April Fools' Day has kicked off in earnest. Here are some of the best (and worst)…
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1. BMW mouths off
BMW is an old hand when it comes to April Fools' gags – but this year it's brought its A-game. The car manufacturer ("HA" manufacturer, more like) said it's developed the "ultimate rugby mouthguard" using ethylene-propylen-dien rubber, "the standard protection in the door seals of all BMW models".
"This development uses tyre tread technology for extra grip as well as BMW's signature "kidney grille" between the front incisors acting as an elegant respiration vent."
For added lolz, it's drafted in England rugby player Chris Robshaw. See the results above.
2. Sun Life goes hipster
Given that Taylor Swift's pins are allegedly (al-leg-edly?) insured for $40m, it's almost plausible that Sun Life would offer to protect for "every kind of beard" against "accidental damage, malicious damage and travel cover".
Prices start at "just £3 a month", said the company – although presumably that's for a goatee/soul patch. We dread to think what a full-on beard-of-bees jobbie – as sported by East London's notoriously precious hipsters – would cost to protect.
3. Confused.com gets even more confusing
So popular have Confused.com's "Brian" robot toys been, it's ditching the dreary business of price comparison to become Wales' biggest toy manufacturer, it chuckled.
Bafflingly, the company said a rather conservative 20 per cent of its workforce had switched to toymaking, as per the "documentary" (at 1.46 mins, we'd argue it's more of an "ad") above. Come on guys, it's April Fools' Day – there's no room for realism here…
4. Branson goes to Branson
Entrepreneur Richard "laugh-a-minute" Branson's effort is, frankly, a bit of a let-down. In a blog on his website, he says Virgin is moving its US operations and a "section of our UK operations" to the little-known town of Branson, Missouri. Er, lol?
Dolly Parton runs her Dixie Stampede in Branson (the town, not the man), so Branson (the man, not the town) has decided to rename Virgin America's latest plane "Jolene". Sigh.
5. London Eye loses weight
The London Eye is launching its first "zero gravity" capsule using "state of the art technology" used by Nasa. Fans embedded in the floor will create a feeling of weightlessness, it chortled.
Had British Airways still sponsorerd the London Eye, this would have been a dig at Branson, whose Virgin Galactic zero gravity "experience" has yet to get off the ground – but as it is, Coca-Cola is now the primary sponsor of London's big wheel. Shame.
6. Fitness First gets a pet project
To coincide with National Pet Month (which itself isn't an April Fool – we checked), gym chain Fitness First says it's "identified a gap in the market" for people who want to stay fit but "don't want to leave their furry friends at home". Yep: the chain is launching pet fitness classes.
FF's ideas include the lame "Pet Freestyle Group Training", "Pet Freestyle Group HIIT" and "Core for Cats".
Come on, guys. You can up your game. Paw-lates, for instance. Or swapping spin classes for "fin" classes. Or tai-l chi. Or Zumba-rk. At the very least rename yourselves "Fitness Fur-st".